i have had my share of great disappointments and great loves. i have had my share of hard nights and peaceful days, and i have handled myself gracefully and carelessly. i have shown wisdom and been as blind as any fool. i have loved and hated. i have seen behind the veil of my own fairy-tale lies to the ugly truth behind. i have loved, married, and fallen into despair as the love i so desperately clung to ripped into nothingness. i have picked apart my heart and left it behind. i have divorced and struggled along. i have wondered how i would ever survive, survived, and come to wonder how i ever survived before. i have experienced the fresh obsession of a love-to-be, cherished every moment of the crush, and can now recognize that i have experienced a new love… the rebirth of my own heart, my trust in another.
i have been cruel to some, and exceedingly kind to others. i have been lazy and paid for it, and i have worked hard and reaped the rewards. i have been independent and codependent.
each of these statement conjures up an old memory for me. a memory of you or another or of myself.
i feel like i have hidden so much emotion for so long that it’s boiling under the pressure. i need an outlet, and i’d prefer a healthy one.
valentine’s day is around the corner, and i hope you all cherish the time you get to spend with your lovers… or if you have no lover, i hope you find peace in your independence.
Posted in geek days
